Learn to Lead Yourself Before Leading Others – Part Two
Leadership is not a one-time event — it’s a continual process of how you empower, direct, and trust either yourself or others. And I’ve found this to be true: if you want to be a great leader to others, you must first become a great leader to yourself.
In Part 1 of this series, I shared disciplines and habits to help you build a foundational framework for leading yourself well. But leadership is multi-faceted. It’s not just about what you do — it’s rooted in who you are. To truly own leadership, you must know who you are.
Now, you might be thinking:
"Will, I already know who I am."
But if a stranger walked up to you today and asked, “Who are you?” — what would your response be?
Too often, we reply with what we do, not who we are.
We are human beings, not human doers. And to lead well, we must lead from the inside out. That starts with knowing your identity — beyond your job title, your performance, or your public image.
Below are three non-negotiable pillars you must be absolutely clear on if you want to lead others with integrity, clarity, and purpose:
1) Identity: Who am I?
Your identity doesn’t come from your past, your paycheck, or your pain. It comes from the One who made you — God.
Until you surrender to His plan and understand your assignment and purpose, you’ll lead from a place of insecurity, ego, or exhaustion.
I spent years exhausted — bouncing from job to job, chasing money, thinking success was about status. I had no idea I even had a specific calling on my life.
Our culture glorifies hustle, but the more money-focused an idea becomes, the further disconnected it is from God and your soul.
True identity is rooted in love, and lived out through service to others. I’ve found this to be true: your identity is often revealed in your gift — something you’re naturally good at — used to bless others.
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world.”
That means don’t put your identity in things that are temporary. When the money, fitness, or job title fades — will you still know who you are?
Love, compassion, and service will always remain.
Genesis 1:28 reminds us to “be fruitful and multiply.” The seed — your God-given purpose — is already within you. Water it, tend it, and use it to lead others with love and truth.
2) Integrity: What do I stand for?
Weak personal values will always bleed into how you lead others.
Ask yourself: Can I clearly list five values I live by daily?
One of the greatest traits of competence is clarity. If you don’t know what you stand for, how can you lead with confidence? Without that foundation, you’ll constantly drift.
Here are seven integrity checkpoints to reflect on:
Moral principles
Honesty
Consistency
Character
Trustworthiness
Ethical decision-making
Accountability
Leadership starts with self-honesty. Where are you compromising? What values do you need to revisit?
3) Intentionality: Am I leading or just drifting?
Many people are “busy” — but few are intentional.
Fake busy work can give a false sense of accomplishment and distract you from leading higher.
You may be checking boxes — but are those boxes mission-driven?
Becoming intentional takes self-control and focus. Ask yourself:
What’s distracting me daily?
When do I self-distract instead of finding stillness?
Am I afraid to commit in case I fall short?
That was me for a long time. I wouldn’t commit because I feared failure.
Truth is: I still wrestle with this. But I’ve learned to get intentional by setting aside time each week to plan around my mission and realign my goals accordingly.
The busier life gets, the less you can afford to carry everything. Choose wisely what you hold onto.
I ask myself this weekly:
“Is what I’m choosing this week moving me toward my mission or pulling me further away?”
Take 20 minutes every Sunday to reflect and reset. You'll be amazed how much progress you can make with a simple map and some clear intention.
Final Thought: Leadership Starts With You
Leading yourself before leading others is not optional — it’s vital.
Don’t get so wrapped up in your title or performance that you forget the responsibility you carry. People are watching, following, and trusting you. Don’t lead them poorly because you failed to lead yourself.
This is your permission — to do better, to feel better, and to lead better.
God bless.
— Will Ashby